and then there were none

So some of you know that I was putting in an offer to buy the tanning salon where I work. Tanning is very busy in the winter and Esthetics is very busy in the summer so it was the perfect combination for a successful business. Unfortunately someone came along and offered much more than I was willing or that it was worth. This has been a huge lesson for me though. I have spent the past 15 hours sulking, crying, and feeling completely inadequate. And really, all I should have done was brushed it off and said that my day would come.


Its hard not to put everything you have into something when you feel so good about it. This was by far the most 'grown up' thing I have ever done. I had the financing, a lawyer, and a business plan, and yet still come out of this being told 'you're so young'. Nothing frustrates me more than being told that. I was there for every single one of my birthdays and I know exactly how old I am. I don't believe that age has anything to do with how successful you will be at something. Whether it's owning a business, having a baby, getting married, moving across the country, who cares. If you feel like you can do it, then go for it! But don't put everything into it. Always have a little bit of fear in the back of your mind just in case it doesn't work out. 


I was so over confident about this. I had picked a new building to move it to, I had made a new price list, I had paint picked and lighting and ways to keep the current clients happy as well as recruit new ones. But all of this hard work just left me looking and feeling like an ass. Too confident. 


The worst part of it all is the person who beat me to it 'comes from money'. What the hell is that supposed to mean. I have worked since I was 13 and I have never had a problem paying my bills or being able to go out and enjoy my life, but I also come from a family who is modest. I was never raised to flaunt whether or not you had money, or to treat people differently based on their financial positions. But unfortunately that's exactly what matters in the harsh reality of the real world. You knowingly have money, you get what you want. And you can throw away money and over pay for things that aren't worth near what you're paying just because you have it and there's no reason for you not to. Genuinely giving a sh*t about something doesn't get you anywhere is what I have learned. 


Anyways I am just rambling on about this because I needed to get it out before it drove me crazy and caused me to start drinking in the morning. I am still determined to open up my own place but this time I will be smarter. I won't get my hopes up, I won't trust people, and I'll listen to the important people in my life who believe that I CAN do this. 


(and I would just like to thank my Grandpa [although he will probably never read this] for all his love and support, and his never failing words of wisdom)